Wow, My First Post Since May!

One of my resolutions for the new year is to get back to my blog and to try to make it prettier with more pictures. Yeah right! LOL

So here it goes......................let's see how long it lasts! Any bets?

I find myself wondering this: "Why is it that really fat people - I mean REALLY fat people (not fat people like me) - drive like they are on their way to an all-you-can-eat buffet that is about to close in 10 minutes! The other week a minivan FILLED with such people just about ran me over in the Wal-Mart parking lot. And then it occured again the other day at the gas station. An overloaded Ford Focus came screaming into the lot just about taking out everyone in its vacinity. What, were they having a sale on big gulps?

And I have this problem today: For some reason my bangs wanted to part on the opposite side of where they normally reside. What the hell is up with that? I washed my hair with the same shampoo, I used the same spray in conditioner, I blow dried it in the same manner, with the same brush and yet there it was, literally fighting with me today. I got a complete "fuck you" from my bangs this morning. Now, instead of sweeping to the left, they are over on the right. I keep brushing them over to the left out of habit and end up looking like Cameron Diaz in Something about Mary. You all know which scene I am talking about. These bangs need to get back with the program!

In the spirit of putting up pictures, here is a picture of the pure-bred Brittany Spaniel puppies now residing in my garage. These puppies came to be because of two men (one being my dear hubby) who were just SO SURE that a male dog only 7 months old could not possible figure out how to fornicate when put into a pen with a female dog. Yeah, right. Like any male being that has testicles doesn't immediately figure out what they are for. Anyway, the puppies are adorable, but they will need new homes. So if you know of anyone that needs a hunting dog, let me know! There are 6 of these little buggers.

Old Pictures

So, I was digging through my old pictures this evening and thought I would share them.

A priceless picture - absolute proof that I did grow up white trash. The funny thing is I had no idea I was realy white trash at the time. Holy moly. How many cars could one family need? I guarantee that only half of them were operational. And my dad there, with the lawnmower - it must have been early into the summer, because he barley has a tan.

This one is from my wedding shower. This one makes me giggle. Nevermind the acid wash jean jacket, just look at the expression on my face. See what is in the box? I believe my face is saying, "Who the fuck bought me a vaccum?" LOL

And the last one. I saw it and immediatly remembered the day. It was picture day in kindergarden (that would have been in 1975). I vividly remember that dress. I was so proud of that dress. I remembered hating that haircut though. My mom used to wack it off - I used to beg her to let me grow it out. You cannot take a little girl with a face like that and cut her hair short. It just isn't right. Put me in a pair of glasses and I am Ralphie from "Christmas Story".

4 Posts

Goodness, I just realized I made 4 posts without using the word fuck.

I must remedy that tomorrow.

Haagen Dazs Before or After Exercising?

That was the question that plauged me last night. I wondered - would I burn more calories during my half an hour on the eliptical if I ate the ice cream before or after exercise.

I sat and pondered the answer as I ate a bowl of it covered in hotfudge and a banana. Hell, the banana offset the calories right?

Right?

Yep, that is what I thought.

Fred, Fred, Fred

Look at poor Fred. He loves the mud and he scraped most of the hair off his face between his eyes the other week in the stall assing around with Squirrel on the other side. I am not sure where he found that level of mud (see how dry the ground is). And he really does have a bridle path, but his mane is so crazy he would never know it. He is loving being a pasture ornament lately and has been babysitting Squirrel who LOVES to torment him. That's her down there below. She is a mess as well - I think she could move to Jamaca Maaan with all the dread locks in her mane. She is enjoying being a baby, but she is starting to look all grown up lately. The saddle is calling her name. The young man that is going to put 60 days on her asked me today if I have managed to get a saddle on her yet. Ummmm, nope, she hadn't even been brushed this Spring yet. LOL

I Have Noticed

Lookie, lookie - my third post in a week's time. Holy googly, moogly. It is frightening!!!


To the topic above: There are some things I have noticed lately - what with the hubby away during the weeks. The most significant being that the house smells very different when he is not here. Seriously, seriously different - and by different I mean better. Honestly, I have been with the man for 22 years (20 of them living together) and up until now I did not realize how much he farts and shits and just overall stinks up the house. Goodness, gracious. It is amazing indeed.

And then there is the matter of the hangers. Yep, hangers in the closet that forever seem to end up in the bottom of the closet in a tangled mess in my mass of shoes. I swore, swore, swore that it was the hubby who was the culprit. Every time I opened the door and had to try to wade through the hangers in order to pull out a pair of shoes I cussed him, cussed him indeed. However, to my dismay, the hangers seem to keep appearing in the bottom of the closet, even in his absence. I am sure he is still to blame in some way - I just to have figure out how. LOL

Plan B

I have been having some crappy days at work - dealing with a lot of polical bull shit that really, really pisses me off. I am mostly pissed off because I have been asked to "play nice for now" when I really want to tell this one person who is causing all the problems what I think. So I have devised "PLAN B" - which makes me laugh. It also makes me realize that things really could be much worse. Right?

The photo might be hard to read - so I will explain.

This is an old shack - being converted into a Strip Club called "The Hot Flash". On the porch is a fat, red-neck with his belly hanging out of his shirt. They are hiring - on the billboard it reads "Wanted, Middle-Aged Women".