Paige Told Me to Update My Blog

.........and so I am.

It seems my extended summer vacation (0therwise known as unemployment) continues. I did manage to go on an interview last week. I haven't heard a peep good or bad about it - so I am following the old saying, "No news is good news." The interview felt good. The folks I talked seemed like folks I could work with and have a good time working with. The job would be a great job. Time will tell.

In the meantime, I have started more outdoor projects since the temperatures have subsided a bit. I have managed to remove a wood fence and almost replace it with electric tape. The tape will go up tomorrow. During this project, I got to use my new cordless saw. I really love that saw. It is now my most favorite battery operated tool. It seems to make me sweat more than my previously favorite battery operated tool. And, I can use it outside in broad daylight without worrying about someone dropping by unexpectedly. LOL

I have also managed to add "staining the deck" to my list of things to do. I thought this project would be quick. Yeah right. I managed to get about 1/3 of the deck cleaned this afternoon. I bought a nifty brush on the end of a pole that you hook up to the garden hose. I had no idea that f*cking deck was so filthy. And it ain't a small deck. The thing goes from the front of the house around the entire side. I think it is about a big as a football field - or it seems that way when you have a 10 inch brush on the end of a pole trying to scrub it clean.

My college classes began last week. I have managed to subject myself to Political Science, Geometry and Computer Information Systems this semester. Poly Sci is being taught by a man that finds himself much more humorous than I do. And to make matters worse, there are two "kids" in the class that seem to think the man is a funny, funny guy. I am seriously thinking about bribing them with candy at the end of each class if they promise to cease laughing at the man. My Geometry teacher is Sister John. It seems odd to me that a Sister would be teaching about lines, planes, rays, congruent angles and such nonesense. But she is there, and I do find her amusing. She caught me snickering about two hours into the class the other night and thought the look on my face meant I was confused. HA! Thankfully, the Computer Info Systems class is an on-line class. We had to post three things about ourselves so that our fellow classmates could get an idea of who their classmates are. This is what I posted:

Three things about myself:
1. People tell me I look like Christy Brinkley
2. I think I look like Christy Brinkley
3. I tend to drink a lot which makes me exagerate the truth

All the other posts were completely respectable points about my classmates like what their major is, if they have kids, are married, in the service, bla, bla, bla. How boring is that. If I cannot have fun with my education, I am giving up. Just wait until my Poly Sci professor gets to read my paper on "The Republican Noise Machine." He is going to regret ever telling us to make it interesting and if we want to express our opinions to please feel free to add any arguments. Oh he does not know the power he has just given me. Mooooo, haaaa, haaaa, haaaa.

Is It Thursday Already?

Where does the time go? It is like being on summer vacation when you were a kid. I have only been home this week without a real job and I have already lost track of the days.

Well, I met with the outplacement guy yesterday - at the mall - while I watched teenage girls wearing too much makeup parading around as teenage boys followed them. There was also your occassional retired couple and of course mothers with strollers looking like they just needed to get out of the house and see other grown up human beings.

My guy, Paul, was what I expected. A white male in his late 50's who hadn't had a corporate job for sometime now. He was an old HR guy - another big surprise. Oh, he was nice enough, but I kept finding my mind wandering to the Aunt Annies Pretzles that sat across the way, just behind his head. I am already bored of the process with this ouplacement service. I am already bored of the tests and of the workbook I am supposed to fill out using descriptive adjectives to describe myself. I told him it was all bull shit (and I used those words). He didn't understand. I told him it was all crap, fake, bullshit and I didn't want to network, I didn't want to "think outside of the box", I didn't want to call myself a professional marketing analyst. I told him the lady standing on the corner was a professional. He didn't find the humor in it. That's okay, I did. LOL

After my 2 hours at the mall with Paul, I found myself at Eckerts Orchard hoping that they had some peaches. They had some and today I will be making a beautiful peach cobbler after I go get some grain, pick up the weed wacker that I broke earlier this week, and try to find a laptop computer for the kid to go off to college with. Wish me luck.

Scratch Mechanical Abilities Off My Resume

So, it seems the fates have shown me that I will not become a landscaper. For you see, I had asked my dearest husband some weeks ago to replace the blade on the weed wacker and put the string head back on it. Did he do so? No he didn't. So this morning I called him at work and asked him how to go about changing it out. I have some serious trimming to do around the place. He said there was a manual, that it was easy. Okay, so I get out the manual. It seems very simple. I manage to get the blade off - look at the manual - complete with pictures and everything - and then screw on the string head. Wa-la. It was done. I start the wacker and nothing, the head won't spin. What the hell? I looked at the pictures and everything, it should work. But it was not. My nephew even came over, a smart young man with mechanical abilities. He cannot get anything to budge. So there went my plans for the afternoon of trimming around the house.

Dearest husband comes home and I ask if he wants to look at the weed wacker. Of course all I get is a grunt and a eye roll. He takes one look at it and tells me I apparently forgot to leave some part on it when I put the string head back on. Ummm, no I did not. I even got out the manual. See, look at the picture, that part is not in it. I looked at it several times. No part. He said it was there, you just couldn't see it. What the hell? What do you mean I cannot see it. It isn't in the damn picture. So now I have to take the stupid thing to the lawn mower repair shop tomorrow and see if they can get it fixed. I am going to tell them my husband did it. LOL

Unemployment

I know I probably should be working on my resume, or possibly networking but I just cannot bring myself to focus. Ahhh, yes networking............I hate that word. It is a really sucky word. Who in the hell wants to "network"? It sounds so grown up - so damn formal. It sounds like it you must say it with an air of an accent like Thurston Howel the Third from Gilligan's Island. "Yes, I do believe I will go network with the gents down at the club." Gag!


Today is what, my official 8th day of unemployment. But really, these first days don't count since I was really on vacation - and getting paid as my last week of work. Since tomorrow is Monday, I suppose I really should call the outplacement service and set up an appointment to go speak with them. I did manage to take my "personality and professional assement". I cannot wait to see what the results are. I can probably guess it will say something like Jodi doesn't play well with others and finds stupid people to be a waste of her time. I further suppose I will be sitting at the food court at the mall meeting with the guy assigned to me as we sip Starbucks coffee and I pretend to give a shit about what he thinks of me and what his idiotic test has to say. But a girl has got to get a job to pay for all these ponies, so I will go. And I will smile. And I will try my best to pretend I am excited about this awesome change in my life. Fuck that. I worked for the same company for 13 years. It was comfortable. I like comfortable. I own comfortable shoes, I wear pants with lycra so they strech and are comfortable around my love handles. I don't find this change so comfortable right now. I thought I would. I have been telling myself it will be great. Yeah, until it really happened. So now I am enrolled in community college trying to finish a degree I should have finished 15 years ago while I look for a job to pay the bills. Ain't being an adult just grand.