Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!

Isn't America grand! You can get laid off, collect unemployment, and can watch tv all day long. Actually I only watch Rachel Ray in the morning and then do chores and projects. But this morning during a commercial, I was flipping the channels and low and behold, there it was, The Jerry Springer Show. It was like a car wreck. I knew there would be moral consequences for watching it - all with the hope of seeing some carnage or blood or something disgusting. But I couldn't help myself I stayed there for several minutes in awe. I watched enough of it to see two pale, hairy, ugly, skinny men in spandex half shirts and shorts on either side of a chunky, equally pale girl as the man on the right contended that he only slept with the girl's brother twice (he was the man on the left). The man on the right was explaining that he was just experimenting with her brother - but he LOVED her.

Good gracious - I feel like I need to shower just re-telling the tale. How do people watch that shit? Maybe I was doing it wrong. I had showered, brushed my teeth and didn't have on a moo-moo or lycra pants. I was eating oatmeal instead of smoking a Marlboro drinking a Millwaukee's Best. Maybe that was the problem. There was even a nasty chick in the audience lifting up her shirt to show a handwritten note on her stomach that said "HI MOM". Her mother must be so proud.